Forced Orgasms vs. Ruined Orgasms: Understanding Control

There is little more tantalising than being brought to the brink of pleasure then having that pleasure prolonged or abruptly halted. Relinquishing control of your pleasure is an act of intimacy - whether your partner denies you that release or prolongs it, it is the ultimate act of pleasure.

In this article, we will dive into the difference between forced orgasms and ruined orgasms, how to have them, tips for a Motorbunny, and more. While their names might sound intense, they are some of the best ways to rekindle intimacy. 

Here's what we'll cover:

1. What forced and ruined orgasms are?
2. A note on consent.
3. What is BDSM?
4. How do forced and ruined orgasms fit in with BDSM?
5. The benefits of forced and ruined orgasms.
6. Techniques and tips for achieving both a ruined and a forced orgasm.
7. A deep dive into how to achieve them with a sex machine and accessories.

By the end of this article, you will know everything you need to know about the differences between forced and ruined orgasms, how to have them, tools such as riding dildo machines and, most importantly, some tips and tricks along the way.

Let's get into it.

What Are Forced Orgasms And Ruined Orgasms?

Most people who are sexually active enjoy the art of having an orgasm. From the earth-shattering shakes to the catch of breath as they come back down to earth. But what if you wanted to enhance your orgasms beyond measure? Or perhaps prolong the pleasure.

There are many ways in which to enhance an orgasm's intensity and make it last longer. There are also a number of reasons why the practice of denial and orgasm control are popular whether or not you actively participate in BDSM practices.

What Forced and Ruined Orgasms are Not: Non-Consensual Sexual Stimulation

It is essential to note that this and, for that matter, any sexual activity with a partner has to be consensual. It is vital to ensure that any partner that you are interested in having a sexual relationship with is open and consenting—no nasty surprises.

Explicit consent is a vital component of ruined or forced orgasms, BDSM, and even ordinary sex acts. It is crucial to talk to your partner honestly for everyone's well-being. Orgasm control is not something to force on a partner.

Instead, before embarking on this intense journey, an open conversation should be had with clothing in a neutral setting.

The root of BDSM is consent - due to the intensity of this kind of play, understanding the experience is vital.

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What is BDSM and how is it related?

BDSM is short for "Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism." It is a sexual practice that many people partake in; its influence has spread into everyday sex sessions, whether participants are aware of it or not.

Ever used handcuffs or spanked a partner? You've participated in an act that is considered part of BDSM.

It allows sexual partners to explore power dynamics, trust, and vulnerability in a consensual and controlled environment. It allows for an open exploration of desires and pushing boundaries while allowing partners to find a more profound sense of understanding within themselves and their partners.

BDSM is a broad term, and every couple that engages in it has a different interpretation.

However, at its core, BDSM is about control and relinquishing control between partners - for some, this control lies with one partner. At the same time, the other submits, and this dynamic never changes comparatively. This control switches between partners.

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How do Forced and Ruined Orgasms Fit in?

To put it simply: Control. \BDSM play is centered around control, and orgasms are no different.

Forced orgasm is when a partner applies intense and continuous stimulation in order to bring someone to climax, often repeatedly and beyond their immediate desire.

This can involve using saddle vibrators and sex machines, such as the Motorbunny, to maintain continuous and intense stimulation, leading to multiple and powerful orgasms.

Conversely, a ruined orgasm is when stimulation is stopped, slowed down, or a downshift in intensity lessened just at the brink of climax, preventing a full orgasm. Ruined orgasms can involve teasing, shifting the pattern of vibration when using a sex saddle or vibrator, and suddenly changing the tempo or speed.

There is usually a short break between shifts, allowing the partner to "cool down" before bringing them to the peak again or allowing them to climax fully. (FYI - 30 seconds should do the trick.)

These shifts are intended to edge someone close to climax and release, only to disrupt it just before it peaks. The result is frustration, anticipation, and a higher level of lust.

Ruined orgasms are a form of edging where men are brought to the brink of climax, stopping just before ejaculation. For women, it is just before the peak of climax and can be a little harder to gauge.

Both practices involve control over pleasure and can heighten the connection between partners. For both the submissive partner and the dominant partner, it heightens the emotional responses and sexual tensions.

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The Benefits of Forced and Ruined Orgasms

Unsurprisingly, there happen to be several benefits to the practice of orgasm control.

Sexual Stimulation

Any kind of orgasm control has a wide range of benefits for sexual stimulation. It is particularly beneficial to anyone who suffers from a lack of stimulation or who needs a little extra help in getting the right amount of stimulation to enjoy that sweet O properly!

Forced Orgasms: Provide intense and prolonged stimulation; this often leads to multiple climaxes and heightened sensitivity. This, in turn, is great for those who are not particularly sensitive and need a little extra work to reach climax; it also deepens the sensation of each orgasm.

Ruined Orgasms involve precise control over stimulation, which can heighten sensitivity and awareness within the body. The anticipation and denial can make future stimulation more intense and pleasurable.

For anyone who likes a little surprise, the person in control can surprise them with the final climax. This anticipation makes each play session a little more fun.

Sexual Arousal

While both practices are great for the libido in the long term, here's how they impact overall sexual arousal.

• Forced Orgasms: The relentless nature of forced orgasms not only sustains arousal but can intensify it over an extended period. It leads to a high level of sexual excitement, deepening the sexual connection between partners and ultimately leading to an increase in overall satisfaction.
• Ruined Orgasms: By repeatedly bringing an individual to the brink of orgasm and then stopping, ruined orgasms create a cycle of heightened arousal and frustration, ending with an explosive orgasm. This push/pull method of building sexual tension and desire can deepen submission and release, leading to more intense and fulfilling subsequent sexual encounters.

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Sexual Function

Even if you are not into full-on BDSM scenes with whips, chains, and all the usual suspects, a little light control play can lead to an enhanced sense of sexual function.

They are ideal for partners who would like to improve the intensity of orgasms and make them more exciting.

• Forced Orgasms: Practising regular forced orgasms can enhance sexual function by increasing pelvic muscle strength and improving the overall responsiveness between partners. The intense stimulation can also help you become more confident and expressive in your orgasms.
• Ruined Orgasms: Ruined orgasms can improve sexual control and stamina, teaching individuals to manage their arousal and orgasm more effectively. It is ideal for prolonging love-making sessions and can help in situations where one partner is faster to climax than the other.

Psychological benefits

Both practices are connection builders - they are a way to revitalize your sex life and reconnect with a partner. Much like any other BDSM practice, they are designed to help you dive deeper into your partner's desires and needs while offering partners a way to understand each other's bodies. The result is a deeper connection that is filled with pleasure.

Tips and Tricks For Achieving Them

Now that you know all the good stuff, what it is, and how it can benefit you, let's discuss how you can incorporate it and use it in the bedroom.

Tips for Forced Orgasms:

• Have a safeword: Even if your partner isn’t restrained or gagged, you should have a safeword when doing forced orgasms. Your partner may be unable to communicate normally when in a state of extreme arousal, but they still need to end or pause the scene if things are too intense. 
• Intensity warning: When engaging in compelled orgasms, think of them as the perfect setting for total pleasure. Try to understand that they are intense whether you give or receive them.
• Clean up in aisle 6: Make sure you have towels on hand. Forced orgasms can lead to squirting for some women, and they can be explosive at that. If you're using a vibrating sex saddle, make sure you have something underneath it to soak up any mess.
• Checking in: Make sure to check in on the receiving partner for any discomfort. There is a fine line between intense continuous stimulation and stimulation that becomes uncomfortable.

Tips for Ruined Orgasms

• Checking in: Orgasm denial can be intense and charged. Make sure to check on the receiving partner's frustration baseline and know when it's time to allow them to release.
• Comfort: Making sure the receiver is comfortable is key. As the denial process can prolongue sexual frustration, it is vital to ensure that they are comfortable. Restraints should be comfortable and not too tight. If using an electric sex machine such as the Motorbunny Original or the BUCK, make sure to use the knee pads or a folded towel under the knees for comfort. The goal is to sexually frustrate not to make them physically uncomfortable.

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Safety and Communication

Safety and communication are among the most vital considerations in any kind of control play. As BDSM involves a lot of vulnerability and psychological aspects, communication and staying safe are paramount.

1. Consent and Communication: Ensure everyone involved is fully informed and has enthusiastic consent. This means a clear discussion before, during, and after the play session.
2. Safe Words: Even if this is your first foray into any BDSM practice and you're self-confessed "vanilla," establishing a safe word is vital. It allows partners to draw precise, enforceable boundaries. They should be clear and unmistakable - avoid confusing and hard-to-remember safewords. Imagine being lost in the throes of bliss, and your partner yells, "Pink pickled tentacles," stick to universally recognized terms such as "green" for go, "yellow" when approaching a hard limit, and "red" for stop. If they don't work, switch it up, but make it easy to understand. Terms like "stop" and "don't" can be taken out of context, especially when pieced together between deep breaths. It can sound a little like "Don't stop."
3. Boundaries: As with any sexual contact, boundaries and limits exist. It is imperative to discuss these boundaries with all parties involved. Setting soft and hard limits and understanding both emotional and psychological limits will set you up for success. These limits need to be discussed clearly. Also, go into any control play, knowing these boundaries might shift.

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Preparation

1. Set the Scene: Choose a comfortable, private space where you won't be interrupted. Get your preferred lighting and music if you want music. Have all your toys, equipment, and gear ready to go.
2. Lubrication: Make sure you have plenty of water-based lubricant to reduce friction and increase comfort. As both denied and compelled orgasms involve a high amount of stimulation, avoid any sensation lubes that offer tingling and cooling effects, as they can cause irritation if not careful.
3. Warm-Up: Before you warm up, check-in and get an emotional baseline, establish boundaries for the session, and any hard limits. You can do this while engaging in light foreplay to get warmed up. This can include massage, kissing, or using other toys.

Hopping on The Motorbunny

1. Start Slow: Start slow with lower settings, get warmed up, and acclimate to the sensations. Gradually increase the intensity and either the twirl or thrust patterns as desired.
2. Vibration and Rotation: Experiment with different combinations of vibration and rotation settings. Find what feels best for you or your partner, take mental notes of the best sensations, and note physical responses. This will allow the partner in control to tap into the sweet spots and either continue the forced orgasm or deny the climax.

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Techniques for Forced or Ruined Orgasms

1. Intensity Control: For a forced orgasm, keep the intensity high and maintain stimulation throughout the orgasm. For a ruined orgasm, decrease, slow down, or stop stimulation just as the climax begins, and pause for 20 - 30 seconds before continuing and maintaining the original intensity.
2. Teasing and Denial: Tease the receiving partner by alternating between intense stimulation and breaks. Fill the breaks with reassurance, touch, kissing, and checking in. This can build anticipation and make the orgasm more intense when it finally happens.
3. Hands-Free, Baby: Use the remote control or the LINK app to adjust settings without using your hands. This will give you freedom of movement.
4. Experiment: Always experiment - remember the Motorbunny "goes all the way to 11!" so experiment and play around with new sensations.
5. Gear: When talking gear, the options are endless; at Motorbunny, we have a starter kit geared towards BDSM - it includes all the necessary accessories and attachments for the best experience. They are available for purchase separately if you already own a luxury sex machine. Experimenting with different types of equipment can help to keep things interesting - especially if you experiment during the session - nipple clamps can help heighten the sensations close to climax. In contrast, the forced orgasm belt can help stabilize the receiver and keep them mounted!

Aftercare

The moments after any session are as important as the start and middle. It is where you connect and close the session.

1. Aftercare: After the session, before cleaning up, offer comfort and care. Allow the receiving partner to wind down. This can include cuddling, grabbing a little water, and discussing the experience. Aftercare is crucial for all partners' emotional and physical well-being.
2. Clean-Up: Clean the Motorbunny and any other gear used during the session.

Finding Control: Orgasm Play

If you're looking for intensity and control in your sex life, then orgasm control play is quite literally made for you. Whether you prefer to be in control or be controlled, perhaps you want to switch it up now and then - it offers you the chance to dive deep into your desires. Control play also allows you to release and relax into orgasmic bliss.

It is vital to remember that in consensual situations, it can be used as a tool to reconnect and deepen trust between partners. Whatever your reasons, stay safe and enjoy every second!