Forced Orgasms - The Ultimate Guide, Part 2

This is the second in a three-part series we have put together that details all the ins and outs of forced orgasms, what they are, how to have them, and any safety measures. 

In part one, we dug deep into what forced orgasms are, the sublime effects they have on not only the body but the mind, too, and a few other topics, such as consent and whether they are truly “forced” or not. In part two, we’ll cover the BDSM aspects of forced orgasms and what tools you may need to achieve them.

Let’s hop in. 

Part One:

1. Defining Forced Orgasms
2. A Note on Consent
3. The Appeal of Forced Orgasms.
4. The Body Effects
5. Is a Forced Orgasm Truly "Forced"?
6. Coming up in Part 2

Here's What We'll Cover in Part Two:

1. A Quick Recap of Part 1 
2. BDSM and Forced Orgasms
3. Where do Forced Orgasms Fit into a BDSM Dynamic? 
4. Preparing for Bondage and Forced Orgasms
5. Exercising Restraint Without Bondage 
6. Bondage and Forced Orgasms
7. Vibes - What is Batman Without His Tools? 
8. Coming up in Part 3

Part Three:

1. Staying Safe and the Potential For Injury
2. The Motorbunny Method
3. Forced Orgasm Tips and Ideas from the Experts
4. The Forced Orgasm Takeaway
   

BDSM and Forced Orgasms

BDSM dynamics can be irresistible. The idea of being brought to orgasm forcibly can fulfill a deep-seated desire to relinquish all physical and psychological control while submitting to the Dominant partner.

Unlike impact play, forced orgasm play has an inevitable crescendo that hits with the first forced orgasm and can go beyond that.

Some impact scenes will bring the submissive to tears, but a great impact scene isn’t (usually) measured in the volume or intensity of submissive tears shed. With forced orgasm scenes, the Dom is trusted to take the sub to a certain height and then navigate how high and hard they will go.

Like an impact scene, forced orgasm play is typically one-sided in sensation. The Dom doesn’t feel the pain (or pleasure) the sub is going through, and they don't experience any mutual sensations.  So, they are trusted to know when to push or pull back based on intuition, experience, body language, negotiation, and conversation. 

“Trust me, you’re going to love this…”

BDSM is designed to transmute intense experiences such as pain, sexual frustration, control, and even multiple or forceful orgasms into stronger emotional bonds and mutual trust. The deepest trust is crucial for several reasons. 

The subs' trust allows them to give into the Dom's control and fully submit. If the sub doesn’t trust her Dom, whatever the Dom thinks they’re trying to do will not work. 

The Dom begins by trusting that the sub will communicate their needs during the scene. Then, they both have to trust that they won’t get carried away to places beyond their boundaries. 

The intensity that goes hand in hand with BDSM and forced orgasms makes it all the more important for trust to be present. Orgasms of this intensity can not only cause strong sensations but also stir strong emotions, especially in this most vulnerable state.

Trust me, you’ll want to build trust before you build up all these orgasms you’re planning on having. 

Where do Forced Orgasms fit Into a BDSM Dynamic? 

To start, here is what BDSM stands for: 

• BD - Bondage & Discipline
• DS - Dominance & submission
• SM - Sadism & Masochism 

Yes, it’s a four-letter acronym for six words, which is why you often see BDSM as a triskelion symbol. Each third symbolizes two of the six meanings, with the ring surrounding the triskelion representing the community.  

Forced orgasms within a BDSM scene can come in many flavors (although probably not vanilla…)

D/s (Domination & submission)

Forced orgasms can be a component of a D/s scene or dynamic, but not always how you may imagine.

You could have a submissive holding the vibrator for the Top to ride after having pre-negotiated to push their limits.  If one person is having all the orgasms while their partner is denied, who the bottom is depends on their dynamic - not the act.

Forced orgasm play is excellent for service tops, especially if they’re a little sadistic. If you’re giving someone more orgasms than they want, is it pleasure, punishment, or “funishment”?

Masochism and Sadism 

A forced orgasm can be incredibly PAINFUL. After climaxing, sexual stimulation often goes from pleasurable to overly sensitive and painful. The receiver’s experience can go from pure pleasure to overwhelming, body-wrenching intensity.

Discipline

Making an orgasm a form of punishment is a special twisted way to discipline your bratty bottoms.  Orgasm denial exists on the opposite side from forced orgasm punishment on the spectrum of orgasm control. 

Would forcing your female sub to have 10+ orgasms teach them the lesson they need to learn? What if they are a male sub, and you force them to orgasm multiple times? We’re not sure if they’d learn their lesson, but we imagine you’d make the sexual experience something they won’t forget. 

RELATED ARTICLE: Forced Orgasms vs Ruined Orgasms

Bondage is often a BIG part of forced orgasms, so the “B” in BDSM gets its section. 

Preparing for Bondage and Forced Orgasms

Bondage or No Bondage?

First and foremost - bondage, restraints, a little smack on the butt is not strictly required. You could engage in forced orgasm play in pastels and have no form of rough play, keeping it slow and sensual. However,  When shaking through an orgasm beyond what the body wants, there may be an instinctual reaction to run away from the pain/intensity/sensation. 

Think of forced orgasms like those arcade games where you hold onto metal bars that vibrate at an extremely high level - the feeling is akin to being shocked. The goal is to see how long you can hold on before you let go.

Now imagine that feeling only on your genitals when thrusting sex machines or other vibes are involved. There's only so much the body THINKS it can take before you pull away and begin to squirm. That feeling is intense, and the receiver will buck and squirm - so restraints will help keep someone in beyond what their body wants.  However, just like those arcade games, you don’t need to be restrained to experience the full sensation of a forced orgasm. 

A Precaution on Restraints

As with anything that's fun, restraints come with a warning label.

Restraints or bondage, whether it is as simple as tying your lover's hands up with a pair of panties or as complex as a full-body shibari tie, doing so safely with informed consent is vital. Tying someone up looks hot; rendering them unable to move and squirm away from the flood of orgasms is, well, also hot.

However, bondage is always dangerous. Inexperience with tying can lead to permanent nerve damage to the limbs. Also, tying someone up without their consent or beyond what they consented to can damage them psychologically. 

Remember: Consent can be withdrawn at any time. Together, you may have agreed to tie someone up and force ~20 orgasms.  But, if they change their mind as soon as their hands are tied, stop immediately - being in bondage adds an extra layer of vulnerability that can induce a strong emotional reaction.

A “No/Stop/Red” is not the beginning of a new negotiation. If you have a trusting partner, there will always be more kinks to explore.  Stopping immediately is protecting that trust and respecting what BDSM is.

So, as fun as bondage can be, it has to be practiced with caution, safety, and control over your desires in mind.

Safewords Make Forced Orgasms Better For Everyone 

Remember that orgasm control play is edge play; everything about these orgasms is intense. Your sub might be screaming, crying, or cursing. There might be flailing and convulsing, too (if you’re doing it right). Negotiating a safeword or prompt and having a communication plan is crucial regardless of whether you are using bondage or restraints. 

This is why safe words are used in this kind of play. When a safeword is used, the play stops. The utterance of a safeword is a hard boundary and shouldn't be crossed. Bondage doesn't replace a person's boundaries or create a lack thereof. Instead, safewords make it easier to control the situation and get off!

Not sure what safewords to use? Try these:

• Classic: Green, Yellow, Red
• Green = I’m 100% fine
• Yellow = We’re going too hard, let's pause or slow down, but I want to keep going. 
• Red = The scene needs to end immediately. 

Safewords When Gagged

Some people use the word "oatmeal" when using a gag because it's easier to hear. (Try sounding out the R in red without closing your mouth). A good practice is having the sub repeat each safeword when gagged, ideally before you even start the scene, to ensure each word is clear and distinguishable. 

Other Prompts: You may be in a situation where your sub is gagged and bound and is not satisfied that a safeword will be understood or heard clearly. Perhaps the room is too loud from the music or the vibrator. In this case, try a prompt prop. 

Using a bouncy ball with lights that flash the sub will drop is a great visual cue to say, “Hey, wrap it up; I need to say something important!” there is no mistaking the vivid flash once they let go and it collides with the floor. It signals that it is time to remove the gag, check in, and see if they need a break or to stop entirely. 

The Next Step is Communication:

Having to check in with your sub might not seem like dirty talk, but it is. You’re making them tell you where they’re at sexually, physically, and mentally. You ask, and they answer. 

Checking in using a number gives the Top more information than “Are you ok?”. Ask them their pain level from 1 to 5. 1 to 10 isn’t a great scale because most people default to the grading system where 7 is a pass, 8 is good, 9 is great, and 10 is perfect. 

If they're gagged, the sub can signal with a thumbs up or thumbs down, meaning give me more or less pain/vibration/stimulation/penetration/etc. Some subs don’t want to speak even if they’re not gagged, so hand signals work for them, too. 

Exercising Restraint Without Bondage 

Once you’ve found a consenting partner and discussed safewords and your communication plan, you can start the juicy conversation on how they are willing to be restrained. Forced orgasms are not for the faint-hearted - by nature, they are intense and unrelenting. They leave the bottom vulnerable - even in situations where they are not restrained. 

As hot as you might think surprising your partner by tying them down might be, we can tell you that it’s an instant turn-off that will kill your whole scene if they have even the slightest hesitation - and many will. Not everyone enjoys being tied up (or tied down, for that matter).  

Your forced orgasm scene will end before any orgasms are had – and no one wants that. 

Also, having a plan shows control, and safely being in control is always sexy. Before you break out the ropes and cuffs, here are some alternative restraint ideas: 

Toy Restraint: 

If you or your sub is new to this kind of play and you want to test the waters, don’t restrain the person; instead, focus on controlling the device. You can wrap yourself around her and control the pressure of the vibrator to control her pleasure.  

You’ve got a Body; Use it!

Sometimes, just a little body weight is enough. The goal isn’t always to immobilize someone; the goal may be to push back when they try to escape. Even if your partner is stronger than you, you’ve got gravity on your side. 

There is more than one way to use your body weight to subdue your partner. You just need to get a little creative.

Saddled Up

Keep them in the saddle. Another fun position we love is pinning a sub to a Motorbunny using body weight and physical touch. Whether you use both arms or just one, leaving one free to use the controls, this method of restraining a sub gives the Dom a hands-on experience.

Getting saddled up with a partner and your Motorbunny has never been easier.

Even if your partner is technically bigger and stronger it doesn't mean you can't subdue them effectively.

Spice it up and add a some restraints in, this is the perfect time to grab your subs hair too!

Bondage and Forced Orgasms

Finally! Let’s talk about that B-word in BDSM - Bondage! The bondage ideas are split into two sections without rope and with rope.

Bondage Without Rope

Whether you like furry handcuffs, leatherette ankle cuffs, or a straight jacket, restraints are perfect for keeping the submissive partners exactly where they need to be. There are so many different types of bondage gear and techniques that we could write an encyclopedia on all the options.  

However, to set you up for success in the bedroom, here are a few ideas and tips. 

Tip 1: Have an escape plan.  For example, if you can’t find the keys to the handcuffs, you’re clearly not in control - this kinky faux pas will probably be the main thing your partner remembers about the scene. You want her to remember the orgasms, not that she was stuck in handcuffs till you had to cut them off. 

Tip 2: Ask your partner if they have any injuries you should know about.  Do they have a bad knee? Have they had wrist surgery? You’ll be responsible for their body in a “forceful” way. With great power comes great responsibility. 

Idea 1: Use under-the-bed restraints to tie your submissive’s limbs, plus a vibrator.

Idea 2: If you’re using a sex machine, invest in a forced orgasm belt. Also called a “bondage belt,” forced orgasm belts are designed to fit over the hips around the waist and prevent your sub from getting off the machine, all while getting off on the machine… 

The Motorbunny saddle vibrator was designed with four steel eyelets to attach a bondage belt. The belt straps are adjustable both around the waist and at each clip point. 

Relevant Research: To deep dive a little further into the world of restraints, check out A Complete Guide To Bondage Restraints

Bondage With Rope

Bondage with ropes, often practiced as Shibari, aka Japanese Rope Bondage, is a whole other world. Here are a few tips and ideas.

Tip 1: Have “Nurse Scissors” with you if you need to cut ties. These scissors are designed to run against skin to create space to cut something off a person, such as rope or clothing. 

Tip 2: Make sure any rope you use is made for bondage; it will be soft, supple, and easy on the skin. Rough or coarse rope can cause unnecessary friction against the skin. The idea is to restrain, not inflict irritation unnecessarily.

Idea 1: If you want more freedom and aren’t ready to restrain your partner to a bed or any attachment point, opt for a body harness to hold your partner. As mentioned in our section, Exercising restraint without bondage, you can hold your partner down instead of tying them down. 

A harness will give you something to grab and restrain your sub with. Plus, a well-tied rope harness is just as sexy as lingerie.

Photo Credit: The Dutchy - Bikini Harness

Alt Text: Shibari BDSM rope harness around mannequin 

Image File Name: rope-harness-mannequin 

Idea 2: Add a little sensory deprivation to your bondage ensemble. The feeling of the rope and the forced orgasms can be enhanced by depriving the sub of another sense, such as sight, by using a blindfold or hearing - by using noise-canceling headphones or earbuds. The constriction and the vibrations together with either of those are wicked combinations that will surely make them scream.  

If you want more pictures or video ideas with people using a Motorbunny, check Motorbunny tagged on FetLife here. Our Reddit page (r/Motorbunny) and NSFW Twitter account @MotorbunnyNSFW also have content from actual users. 

What is Batman Without His Tools?

Batman, without his tools, is just a man in a modified gimp suit. Forced orgasms are intense and are best delivered with the use of tools - sex toys, restraints, and, of course, some aftercare tools to make the whole process easier.

Vibes, Vibes, Vibes

We would be wrong in telling you that forced orgasms are not possible without a vibe, but let's face it - you want the whole process streamlined, and if you plan on having a long play session, trying to keep someone stimulated consistently and rhythmically for ~30 minutes may be physically impossible. Even if you want to try the manual method with your hands or body, having a vibrator on standby is a good plan.

Hand-held vibrators are the most commonly utilized tool for forced O's, most notably the Hitachi wand. The Hitachi was a popular choice for its strong and unrelenting vibrations. After all, the company specializes in large-scale vibrating machinery, so powerful vibrations are its forte.

However, their power has been greatly surpassed by vibrating sex machines such as the Motorbunny. Automatic sex machines were designed to offer long-lasting vibration, with some designs, such as the Motorbunny BUCK, which offer thrusting too.

Whether you opt for a thrusting sex machine or one without thrust, such as the Motorbunny Original - they make the job a lot easier while freeing up your hands for other stuff. Motorbunnys can be controlled through an app, making it much easier to maintain intensity and vibration patterns. This, in turn, makes the challenge all the more fun.

By taking away the receiving partner's ability to anticipate any change in pace, you can watch them melt into each orgasm without fail.

RELATED ARTICLE: Compare the Motorbunny vs. Sybian sex machines.

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

Now, let's not forget that forced orgasms are not always a one-sided affair, with the receiver getting all the attention. No, no, it can involve penetrative sex.

Incorporating a hand-held vibrator or a prostate massager and keeping it positioned on the clitoris/inserted while enjoying a little hanky panky can produce multiple orgasms. This can get a little tricky; however, it is entirely possible with a bit of practice. Continuing once the first orgasm starts to cause your legs to quake and shake – push through.

For some, this experience is a little slower, with minor breaks in between. The partner in control might even stop after they orgasm and continue the forced orgasm process on the receiving partner.

Either way, it is a sultry and seductive practice that can help partners build an even stronger bond!

Coming Up in Part 3

That was intense, wasn’t it? Well, we are not quite done yet. We have a few more topics to cover in part three. We will be looking at the risk of injury, how to play safely, and some tips and tricks from experts we consulted. By the end of this series, you will have all the tools you need to make your partner orgasm as they melt into submission!

Hop on over to part three for the finale: Forced Orgasms - The Ultimate Guide, Part 3