Forced Orgasms - The Ultimate Guide, Part 1

Forcing someone to orgasm in a pleasurable way is a beautiful blend of intensity and intimacy. This is using control and power to manage someone’s hedonistic pleasure (and pain), pushing someone to places they would never find on their own. If you’re ever entrusted to take someone on a forced orgasm journey, we want you to be prepared. 

We have put together a four-part series that details all the ins and outs of forced orgasms, what they are, and how to have them safely, along with a few tips, tricks, and ideas to spark your desires. 

Let’s begin.

Here's what we'll cover in Part One:

1. Defining Forced Orgasms
2. A Note on Consent
3. The Appeal of Forced Orgasms.
4. The Body Effects
5. Is a Forced Orgasm Truly "Forced"?
6. Coming up in Part 2

Part Two:

1. A Quick Recap of Part 1 
2. BDSM and Forced Orgasms
3. Where do Forced Orgasms Fit into a BDSM Dynamic? 
4. Preparing for Bondage and Forced Orgasms
5. Exercising Restraint Without Bondage 
6. Bondage and Forced Orgasms
7. Vibes - What is Batman Without His Tools? 
8. Coming up in Part 3

Part Three:

1. Staying Safe and the Potential For Injury
2. The Motorbunny Method
3. Forced Orgasm Tips and Ideas from the Experts
4. The Forced Orgasm Takeaway 

Bonus Article: an Expert Interview from SwitchJake

Let's Get Some Definition First

Pleasure is a fickle thing; what is enticing to one is horrendous to another. Some find pleasure in pain, some like a light slap and tickle, while others prefer a soft bed adorned with roses.

Forced orgasms fit between the worlds of pleasure and pain. Beyond sensations, forced orgasms are a type of orgasm control that could involve any letter in the BDSM acronym. “Control” can be defined from either side - you either relinquish control over your orgasms to a partner or take control of your partner's orgasms.

If you want to get technical, this is our definition:

A forced orgasm is a consensual sexual act where the partner(s) in control brings the other partner(s) to orgasm either despite their attempts to delay climax and verbal or physical protests or despite their current arousal level.  

One thing is clear communication, consent, and understanding between partners are essential to ensure safety and mutual enjoyment.

Before We Dive Deeper, A Note On Consent

Now, great care must be taken to note that a forced orgasm in this context is not an unwanted sexual arousal or non-consensual sexual stimulation. In this context, a forced orgasm has to be consensual; all parties involved need to have a clear understanding of what is happening and why while explicitly consenting.

There is a common misconception that an orgasm proves consent. It does not. Without explicit permission, you tread into the waters of sexual assault. In scientific circles, they have studied sexual arousal and orgasm in subjects who experience forced or non-consensual sexual stimulation and came to the conclusion that arousal and orgasms do not imply consent or that the sexual experience was fulfilling. 

Just because someone orgasmed or got an erection does not mean they consented.

Communication is sexy; make sure that any partner involved in orgasm control play is aware and happy to comply. Creating a safe, sane, and consensual environment is the foundation for more “advanced play,” such as forced orgasms. 

Besides, consenting to receiving or giving forced orgasms gives everyone permission to start getting turned on. 

Are Forced Orgasms Painful? If so, what's the Appeal?

The line between pain and pleasure is thin and fickle. After orgasming, many people are hyper-sensualized to the point where further stimulation is painful. Your plane goes from flying high in the clouds to needing to be grounded back at the airport. 

Forced orgasms play between these worlds.  Pain is almost guaranteed to be part of the process, however, pain doesn’t have to be the entire focus - unless that’s your kink. But pleasure is guaranteed to be an aspect, assuming orgasms = pleasure whether you are delivering them or receiving them. 

Beyond these not-precisely-binary feelings, forced orgasms create more spaces. The appeal may lie in control and vulnerability, the T-O-T-A-L submission in each orgasm.  Some people may view this as a two-sided marathon. “How many O’s can I have?”  versus “How many can I give her?”  This could be a challenge to see how long one can hold back without orgasming while their partner is doing everything they can to “force” them over the edge. 

Whatever part turns your crank, we want you to enjoy the ride. 

A Little Look at Submission and Control

Let’s set the scene: for clarity, going forward in this article, we’re imagining the person having the forced orgasm as people with vulvas (women), and sometimes refer to her as a bottom or submissive. The Dominant/Top could be any gender - whichever turns you on the most.

The scene is with two people.  We thought about going into a section on solo forced orgasms but felt like that would become an inconclusive analysis addressing “Can you have a forced orgasm alone?”  

Through the act of handing over control to someone else, arousal and liberation are found with forced orgasms. 

Trust and Intimacy: At The Core

Forced orgasm play within a consensual setting can fortify trust and intimacy. The partner that submits does so in the trust that the Dominant will respect their boundaries. This is a double-edged sword for both sides.

As a Dominant, they are trusted to control the scene, respect boundaries, and “break” boundaries by forcing the sub to orgasm beyond what they would on their own.

As a submissive, they are trusting that their Dom will “force” them to orgasm and keep them safe. They are submitting to have their bodies pushed beyond their own control and climax, often with intense pain, while needing to know when and how to communicate their limits.  

There may be a moment when the Dom will be urged to push their sub further. It’s almost too easy - just turn up the intensity of the vibrations or hold it in place longer. The sub trusts the Dom to know and respect when enough is enough. Enough could mean one orgasm, or 100+ (Yes, really. Part 3 in this Forced Orgasm series has some pro tips to get there). 

With trust, the sub gets to climax beyond their own will, and the Dom gets to break that will - a crystal clear power exchange that is incredibly hot for both sides for entirely different reasons.

The Tantalizing Nature of Taboo and Transgression

Let's face it: taboo tastes good. Whether it is as simple as a stolen kiss in public, joining the mile-high club, pegging, or maybe a quick fling between floors in an elevator, sexual acts considered taboo make the heart beat a little faster. Blood rushes to your cheeks, and when there's an orgasm involved, you often think of it for hours or days later.

Taking control of a partner's orgasms or even relinquishing that control is a form of forbidden pleasure. She’s “not supposed to,” she tries to hold back, she doesn't think she can again, and then she does... The psychological effects of submitting and dominating have the same effect as your first sip of Appalachian moonshine; at first, you might not be sure of it, but the taboo can keep you interested.

In essence, giving someone complete control over your orgasms is a sexual act of submission that is powerful. It's like handing them the reins and letting them be in charge of your sexual pleasure from start to finish. Orgasm control, whether it be through forced or ruined orgasms, falls into a unique form of sexual submission that delivers both pleasure and pain. 

Now that we have covered the psychological side, let's dig into the physical sensations.

The Body Effects

Every orgasm is different. Depending on the type of orgasm, your mindset, and where it originates from within the body, the sensations involved will differ. 

Some orgasms feel like you just had a happy, carefree moment - like the perfect morning cup of coffee.  Some orgasms make you shake like an earthquake and your body useless during the immediate aftermath.  Some orgasms you thought you were ready for, but during the ride, you find new levels of pleasure and may realize you should have brought a towel.

If you've ever experienced an intense orgasm that makes you buck and buckle as it hits. You gasp, the breath almost stutters in your throat - that's the kind of orgasm we are talking about. If you haven't yet had the luxury of this kind of orgasm, then forced orgasms might be what you're looking for. For the Doms out there - if total control is what you’re looking for, you are in the right place.

Extended Pleasure/Multi-Orgasmic 

Beyond one long explosive orgasm, repeated and prolonged genital arousal with a vibrating sex machine or a vibrator wand (such as the Hitachi) has been proven to result in multiple orgasms, even for men. This intensity can wash over your body, be deeply satisfying, and be a little painful (but usually in a good way).

Vibrators aren’t required, but consistent rhythmic stimulation is typically required.   

Endorphin Release

Now for the real sciencey bit - there is a reason why forced orgasms feel so darn good. The prolonged sexual arousal and state of climax can lead to the release of endorphins and other feel-good hormones such as dopamine.

That sweet, sweet hit of dopamine has long-lasting effects on your brain and body—it can help you sleep better, lift your mood, and leave you feeling satisfied beyond belief. 

Want to know more about the feel-good hormones released during an orgasm? Take a look at this article about what happens in the brain during an orgasm.

So, Is a Forced Orgasm Really “Forced”?

Force is a word that often conjures up negative feelings for some. People who were forced to eat vegetables they hated as kids will agree. However, “forced” is merely another way of describing control or consensual power exchange in this context.

One of the most misunderstood concepts in BDSM is that the Dom has all the power - when, in fact, the sub can stop the show with the simplest of safewords. In a sense, that is control, which keeps the scene safe, sane, and consensual. The power dynamics that come into play here are an interesting challenge of wills.

The "forced" in forced orgasms is more of a consensual game of holding back despite unrelenting stimulation. The sub has to hold on for as long as possible, while the Dom can push on for as long as they desire.

The challenge comes in when deciding whether enough is enough. Each session will be different - sometimes stopping after multiple orgasms, when the sub truly cannot take any more, or when the batteries run out. 

Sometimes, people will be fully prepared to attempt forced orgasms, and the O’s don’t come (pun intended).  The idea of climaxing beyond your own control may be more exciting in imagination than in reality.  Exploring, exchanging trust, and safely trying new things is still a win.

While on this journey, both partners hold secret power cards - communication, safewords, agency, and willpower to control.

This power dynamic makes the whole concept of consent even more crucial.

Coming Up in Part Two

Sounds tempting, right?

We’ve covered the basics of what a forced orgasm is and isn’t, what it feels like, and, more importantly, why it appeals to so many people. In part two of this series, we dive a little deeper into the underlying aspects of BDSM, some techniques and tools that will help you get the very best forced orgasm experience. 

Here is Part Two of the Ultimate Guide to Forced Orgasms.