The Comprehensive Sex Party Guide - Part 2

Attending a kinky party requires preparation. Knowing the rules, bringing the right items, and preparing your health are part of the fun, responsible play. By the time you walk in the door, you'll be as ready as you can be.

In part two of this series you will learn about these topics: 

1. You’ve Found The Kinky Party, Now What?
2. Know the Rules
3. Get Vetted
4. Get Tested For STIs and Plan on Safe Sex
5. Dress Code: Look the Part
6. What to Bring
7. Bringing Sex Toys to a Play Party

Let's dive in.

You’ve Found The Kinky Party, Now What? 

Image Source: SNCTM

Attending your first play party can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. Whether you're a seasoned member of the BDSM or kink community or just exploring the scene, preparation is key to ensuring you have a safe, enjoyable, and respectful experience. 

Know the Rules

The rules aren't designed to stifle the fun; they exist to create a safe and consensual environment for everyone. Understanding the rules not only helps you fit in but also keeps you from inadvertently overstepping boundaries. 

Read the guidelines/rules/etiquette VERY carefully before attending. Some cover behavior such as alcohol use, dress code, and interaction limits.  Avoid events that don’t clearly state the rules; this can indicate a lack of oversight, leading to potentially unsafe situations.

The rules are also your first indication of what to expect.  For example, some events require one gender to be in lingerie or naked throughout the event. Another rule example is Skirt Club, which is ladies only. 

Events may be centered around a sexual orientation, fetish, or gender. They may also have different rules for single people vs couples attending.  

Get Vetted

The vetting process, if there is one, will give the organizers a chance to curate the guests and ensure they fit in with the party.  Sometimes it’s filling out an application, sometimes it’s attending an orientation, sometimes it’s doing an interview.  

Most applications will ask you about your experience and require a picture. If you don’t have any experience, be honest and try to find out if there is an alternative place to start other than a party - for example, attending a munch. 

There are party organizers that filter based on age and attractiveness.  They won’t admit this, but it does happen and is a red flag.  Know that there are massive extravagant parties hosted by people who don’t discriminate like this, and they are a ton of fun. 

Get Tested For STIs and Plan on Safe Sex 

Practicing safe sex and knowing if you have STIs is always a good idea.  For sex parties, getting tested for STIs and taking precautions is a great idea.  Some parties may require a clean test to attend. 

Sex parties are about sex, and sex is a dirty deed. All sex has risks, including oral. You can mitigate some risk by finding a party of responsible adults who get tested regularly. 

Also, most people will ask, “Are you clean? When’s the last time you tested?” If your answer is, “I’m not sure…” and “A long time ago..”, that will be the moment whoever you’re interested in decides to pursue someone else. 

Some hosts may request people who aren’t fluid bonded to not have unprotected sex for the first time at their party, even if they both consent to unprotected sex.  Remember that staying safe is sexy; if you’re having a good time, best to follow the rules and get invited back.

Dress Code: Look the Part

Image Source: Torture Garden

Almost every event will have a dress code or dress theme. Dressing up is a big part of what makes these parties sexy because you get to wear clothes and lingerie that are normally inappropriate. 

• Ask the host about the dress code if it’s unclear, and be sure to follow it. When in doubt, default to formal evening wear. Knowing what you’re going to wear days (or weeks) before the party will help you get in the right mindset and feel prepared when the day comes. 
• Do not wear glitter. Just don’t. Hosts hate this, and many will make you clean up every speck. 
• You won’t always be naked at a sex party. The Motorbunny Chic n' Sheer Kimono is a fabulous option for those moments in between playing. Other peignoirs, negligees, or robes work too.  
• Have alternate clothing options. If your outfit is intricate or potentially uncomfortable for long hours you may want to bring an outfit change. If you’ve been in a latex body suit all night, get naked, then have some fun and change into a black slip, the host won’t mind.  
• Pack a change of clothes for when you leave. Having the option to get into something clean and comfortable is a pro move, even if it’s just new underwear. 

Dressing too casual will tell the attendees you don’t care about their lifestyle.  Don’t be that guy.  It can be intimidating to wear fetish gear or lingerie around other people, but that is part of the fun.  

What to Bring

When attending a sex party, it's important to be prepared with essential items that ensure safety, comfort, and respect for the event's environment. Here's a list of critical items to bring:

Condoms and Safer Sex Supplies

• Condoms and barriers: Bring a variety of sizes and types to ensure comfort and safety. MyLorals was designed to make receiving oral sex safer for women. 
• Lube: Opt for a high-quality lubricant; consider bringing water and silicone-based options.
• STD test results: If someone asks, and you’re comfortable sharing, test results show a level of commitment to safety.  Remember to redact your contact info and address.

Personal Hygiene Items

• Wet Wipes or Baby Wipes: These are for quick clean-ups before and after activities.
• Deodorant: Staying fresh is essential.
• Toiletries: Some venues have shower facilities to help with clean-up after a scene. Check with the host whether this is available. If so, pack a light gym bag with toiletries and a towel.
• Breath Mints or Mouthwash

Other Items

• Photo ID: Every public event will require an ID for entry. Some private events will too. 
• Tickets or Confirmation
• Water: Stay hydrated, stay happy. 

• Gift For The Host (Optional): If you're attending a private munch, consider bringing a small token of appreciation—like a bottle of wine or some party snacks—to make a positive impression on your host. While optional, this gesture can contribute to a welcoming atmosphere.

Bringing Sex Toys to a Play Party

For the most part, parties will let you bring toys. You’ll find small impact toys (riding crops & paddles), rope, and vibrators at almost every event. Check with the host if you’re unsure. 

Before you bring all your fun items, decide how comfortable you are sharing your toys with other people. Make sure they are clean and ready to use. Make a plan for how you will clean and sanitize them both at the party and when you get back home. 

Can you bring a Motorbunny to a sex party? 

Look, we won't lie and tell you that a Motorbunny isn't a show-stopper—it is. First, always check with the host to find out if your Motorbunny is welcome. Odds are they will enthusiastically say yes. Together, you and the host should make a plan for sharing your Motorbunny, especially regarding cleanup.  

If the host is interested in buying attachments in bulk, please have them reach out to support@Motorbunny.com to ask about our Rewards and Affiliate Program. 

For your first visit to a new play party, you might not know the scene. You can always leave the toys in the car, and go out to grab them you know they’ll be welcomed. 

Next up, in Part Three, we dive deeper into consent and social etiquette, how to engage, and rules for staying safe. By the end of part three, you will have all the tips, tools, and tricks to get the best out of your first play party.